Imperfect Perfection

Seeing Gavin in this sleep sack sparks a lot of emotion for me. My mom brought it over one evening when I was pregnant after we had gotten news from the doctors that things with Gavin would not be what we thought and he would be facing some serious challenges. She brought several outfits over but this one stood out to me. As I held it up I saw an image of myself holding up my perfect baby. I knew that he was going to be exactly who he was meant to be and that he would be perfect for us no matter what that looked like! P.S. It’s funny because I really thought he would have dark hair and brown eyes but he actually looks identical to the way I saw him in my mind!

Family Portrait

I have a very talented friend who does prophetic paintings. She recently did this portrait for our family saying that we are strong and courageous.

What an awesome honor! It reminds me of a time when all of the many doctors were saying that Gavin’s health would be filled with serious problems. Even though it was really hard, we trusted God to take care of our family. It also encourages me to continue to believe that God is with us, wherever we go!

It’s back to work I go!

After taking the last 9 months off work to be a full time mom to my brand new preemie, Gavin, I’m going back to work!

By the way, it’s not like I “simply” had a baby and took 9 lovely months of planned maternity leave. It’s more like I was just living my life when my water spontaneously broke 8 weeks early. This event put the world as I knew it into an abrupt halt and marking the beginning of the most powerful life experience that both my husband and I have ever had!

I own massage therapy business and it’s been a big part of who I am for the last 10 years. I love massage and I love my clients. I’ve never minded working because I genuinely love what I do. Even the tedious behind the scenes stuff (AKA QuickBooks & Insurance Billing) isn’t so bad when you’re doing what brings you purpose. When there is a client that you care about attached to each transaction and when you get the old fashioned satisfaction of putting in a good days work at the end of each day, you don’t mind the hard work.

However, bringing my new found pride and joy into the mix certainly changes things. Ever hear about moms having all the feelings about returning to work after having a baby? How spending one minute away from their baby is pure torture? Yep. That’s a real thing. The kicker? Don’t judge me.

I work from home so he’ll actually be in another part of the house with a trusted family member or friend. I said don’t judge me! I can hear you judging me. I know it sounds pathetic but what if I’m in a massage when he first crawls or at the rate he’s growing, learns to drive?!?! I just hope that if any of these things do happen, whomever is watching him is smart enough to lie to me about it.

All in all, I’m happy to go back. I’ve honestly missed my clients and it will be nice to have a little outlet doing something I love. I’m excited because things are different now and I feel like I have the same set of tools but more compassion and experience to bring to my clients.

None the less, who could blame me for loving the chance to hang out with this guy all day?